Because legal disclaimers are part of the recovery process too.
We collect the bare minimum: your name (if you give it to us), your email (so we can send you the certificate or reminders about your impulse control journey), and your payment details (securely handled by Stripe, because we’re not that reckless).
We use your info to:
We don’t sell your data. We don’t trade it for gum. We don’t even know how. Your data is shared only with:
We take reasonable measures to protect your data, including secure servers, encrypted connections, and not writing your email on a sticky note on the fridge.
Our site may use cookies to improve performance or track whether you actually read this far. By using the site, you accept this delicious inevitability.
If you’d rather not hear from us again, you can opt out of emails via the unsubscribe link or by developing willpower and closing your inbox.
If we change how we handle data, we’ll update this page and hope you care enough to read it. Your continued use of the site means you're cool with it.
You can contact us at support@spend-not.com, but remember—we're a parody, not a power utility.
Spend-Not is a satire-first, judgment-second digital experience. By using this site or purchasing any products, you agree to take responsibility for your own clicking habits and sense of humor.
If you can legally buy stuff online and understand sarcasm, you’re eligible. If not, please consult a legal guardian or meme coach.
All payments are processed securely via Stripe. No physical products will be shipped, unless we offer them at some time and you happen to click the "Buy" button. Emotional enlightenment not guaranteed.
Nope. That’s not how recovery works. All sales are final—because the point is to stop buying stuff, not return it after a chuckle.
We are not responsible for your decisions, your spending, or your cousin Greg’s unsolicited financial advice. Use this site at your own risk of personal growth or spontaneous self-control.
We may update these terms if something funny happens or a lawyer makes us. You agree to those updates by continuing to use the site.